While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:
We have two things we'd like to address. In the Personality section, you mention Genis's prejudice against humans. Could you further expand or perhaps clarify a little as to how Genis would behave toward humans? Although it's understood he would be distrustful, it doesn't really give us a clear idea as to how he really behaves.
Secondly, we didn't really see much in terms of the Emotion Sample. Although the effect itself can be small and subtle in actual effect, it helps if there is a bit more focus so that it's more noticeable to the reader (at least for sample purposes).
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!
Revision
We have two things we'd like to address. In the Personality section, you mention Genis's prejudice against humans. Could you further expand or perhaps clarify a little as to how Genis would behave toward humans? Although it's understood he would be distrustful, it doesn't really give us a clear idea as to how he really behaves.
Secondly, we didn't really see much in terms of the Emotion Sample. Although the effect itself can be small and subtle in actual effect, it helps if there is a bit more focus so that it's more noticeable to the reader (at least for sample purposes).
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!