While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:

The personality section is currently too short to meet our standards. Currently everything given is sparse and only mentions traits but without really expanding on them. For example, "clueless on romance" makes it clear he's dense, but in what way? What about him makes him clueless? In what ways is he loud? How is obvious about his feelings? Some of these questions traits are addressed in the background and could have been used or fleshed out more in the personality section. Another example, you mention that he had a brotherly side in the background, but there is no mention of this in the personality. These are just a few examples, so when writing the revision we do expect to see anything else that may be included and beyond what we've listed.

There are also a few grammatical errors, particularly with inconsistent verb tenses, that we'd like for you to proof and clean up.

Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!