Kanon feels the most at home alone sometimes. His brother - the only one, just Eyes - is a part of his life, but he's not the biggest. If there's anything in this world that encompasses his world, it's Kiyotaka(-sama) and it's completely because he can give him salvation. Even before everything happened, Kanon had understood: there is nothing in this world that can save him, or his family and friends.
When it happens, it will happen. The worst possible thing that could happen to him is that little flip of his switch. He doesn't think about it that often anymore, but the recent string of happiness - light, floating, something small in his mind - brings his most pessimistic thoughts back to the surface, gathers the storm clouds above his head both ominous and dreary. Ever aware of his surroundings, Kanon does look up and stare, lips pulling into a thin line and soft 'o'.
Even though he's pessimistic and down and the pink of his amulet turns dark and ruddy, it doesn't mean he wants anyone to ask about it. Heaven forbid that immediately; Kanon doesn't want to tell an obvious lie. (He doesn't want to lie at all, but it can't be helped.)
He reaches up, then, to see if he can even touch it, but the answer is 'no'. His wonder clears the overhead weather and he smiles, a touch bitter as he shakes his head and looks away, saying, "Ah, I can't go anywhere like this." Even if he hides away, something will always give his emotions away. Sometimes he thinks it would be better to lock them all up, but he can't even do that because he doesn't have any desire (yet) to know how that would affect him.
Maybe one day...? No, he tells himself, shaking his head and making a fist before punching it into the air in front of himself. It's enough to clear the ruddiness away, return his pink to its natural state, and his smile turns cheery and bright with the air around him again to reflect his resolve.
It's too soon for him to let himself break his heart down.
Revision
When it happens, it will happen. The worst possible thing that could happen to him is that little flip of his switch. He doesn't think about it that often anymore, but the recent string of happiness - light, floating, something small in his mind - brings his most pessimistic thoughts back to the surface, gathers the storm clouds above his head both ominous and dreary. Ever aware of his surroundings, Kanon does look up and stare, lips pulling into a thin line and soft 'o'.
Even though he's pessimistic and down and the pink of his amulet turns dark and ruddy, it doesn't mean he wants anyone to ask about it. Heaven forbid that immediately; Kanon doesn't want to tell an obvious lie. (He doesn't want to lie at all, but it can't be helped.)
He reaches up, then, to see if he can even touch it, but the answer is 'no'. His wonder clears the overhead weather and he smiles, a touch bitter as he shakes his head and looks away, saying, "Ah, I can't go anywhere like this." Even if he hides away, something will always give his emotions away. Sometimes he thinks it would be better to lock them all up, but he can't even do that because he doesn't have any desire (yet) to know how that would affect him.
Maybe one day...? No, he tells himself, shaking his head and making a fist before punching it into the air in front of himself. It's enough to clear the ruddiness away, return his pink to its natural state, and his smile turns cheery and bright with the air around him again to reflect his resolve.
It's too soon for him to let himself break his heart down.