While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:

We noticed that there were several grammatical errors in the Background and Personality sections of the application. Most of them are sentence fragments and some typos (for example, the third paragraph in the Personal Backstory). These fragments and errors make it more difficult to read and disturbs the flow of the writing. Normally we ignore the occasional error, but there were multiple instances throughout these sections that we feel could be improved on so that it meets our standard of application quality.

Rather than have you resubmit, you can simply edit the comments with the appropriate fixes and then reply to this comment mentioning the areas you worked on. You don't need to list exact specifics.

Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!