While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:

The history section was a bit difficult to read due to constant tense shifting and incorrect word choices. Thus to meet our standards of quality, we would only like for you to proofread and edit that section to fix the mistakes.

Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!