While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:

We would like some of his traits to be touched upon further, such as what is meant by "he only shows hints of his younger self when he's with his sister," and how that affects him in the present. What are the differences other than the excitement and determination he feels?

Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!