While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:
The personality reads too much like a history section, and it does not give us a full and accurate picture of how the character acts at his current canonpoint. We would like you to expand further on his traits as he is now, such as how insecure and manipulative he is.
We would also like to see a more detailed description of the kinds of potions that Varian can make, or an expanded version of his abilities section so that we may get a better grasp of what Varian is capable of.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!
Revision
The personality reads too much like a history section, and it does not give us a full and accurate picture of how the character acts at his current canonpoint. We would like you to expand further on his traits as he is now, such as how insecure and manipulative he is.
We would also like to see a more detailed description of the kinds of potions that Varian can make, or an expanded version of his abilities section so that we may get a better grasp of what Varian is capable of.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!