While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:
We would like to see the personality section condensed. At present, it reads like a history section, and while canon examples are beneficial to a personality section, in this case they overshadow what is being said about her personality itself. We would like to see more of a focus on her personality itself and less on the series of events in her past, while also omitting headcanon.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!
Revision
We would like to see the personality section condensed. At present, it reads like a history section, and while canon examples are beneficial to a personality section, in this case they overshadow what is being said about her personality itself. We would like to see more of a focus on her personality itself and less on the series of events in her past, while also omitting headcanon.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!