While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:

The Third Person Sample is just a little short. It has a great start, so we'd just like to see a bit of an expansion, perhaps another paragraph or two that continues to delve into Shirley's character.

Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!