While the application shows promise, there are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:
For the sample, we'd like for you to give a little more for Sachiko's actual voice. You can add this to your current sample by providing a little of what she's actually thinking (direct thoughts as opposed to general introspection). Another option is to provide another quick sample of her thoughts or a few more lines of dialogue.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!
Revision
For the sample, we'd like for you to give a little more for Sachiko's actual voice. You can add this to your current sample by providing a little of what she's actually thinking (direct thoughts as opposed to general introspection). Another option is to provide another quick sample of her thoughts or a few more lines of dialogue.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one. You have one week to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!